It has been a while!!

I have been so blimmin busy!! Not an excuse really, but I figure if I say I have been too busy to blog then people might think I lead an exciting life!!

So 8 kilos down now, things are going well, I am no longer struggling, though I will confess to having my largest point overload ever last weekend, I didn't even have that much but it goes to show how easy it is to overeat, and goes a long way to explaining how I got this way in the first place!! **whispers** I ate 97 points in one day!!
 The funniest thing about that is I just leaned right in to the keyboard to type **whispers** duh!!

Anyhow I will now let you know the actual numbers as disturbing as they may be - I started this journey at 148.4 kilos, tragic when your weight is only three digits off a phone number!! I am now sitting at 140.4 exactly so first goal is about to be achieved, which  is getting below 140, next step 130!!

Tonight I ate a crumpy burger which for those of you plebs that do not have the joy of living in west auckland, is the best takeaways in the history of the world. Dear god their burgers are like slices of heaven. I feel a little sad that now I can barely get through a burger, don't get me wrong I got through it, there is no way in hell I am leaving one of those puppies on my  plate! However I can no longer finish my meal with a giant cheese and onion ball or even a couple of chips - What have I become???

I wonder sometimes why we let the people in our lives that we adore go. Years ago I had a very dear friend, a man who I absolutely adored and was very special to me, I remember having a conversation with him about what he was going to wear as my bridesmaid!! I caught up with him today, it is the second time in recent weeks, and I find myself thinking why did I allow him to leave my life for so long??
I moved away at the height of our friendship, and he started a relationship with a woman who was to end up his wife. When I came back everything was different I disliked his new woman rather a lot, I met my first husband and our friendship pretty much just got pushed aside in favour of partners.
Recently we have gotten back in touch thanks in part to facebook, he has left the witch and is with the most amazing woman who really has his back,  and all of a sudden he is back and I still adore him, sitting here thinking about it, I find it sad that we do this, that friends who have played huge roles in our lives suddenly take a back seat to our partners and along the way just get lost in the whirlwind.

Anyhow enough deep and meaningfuls, I am better, cravings gone, I survived!!! Bring it on again you tempting food bitches, I am better than you and I totally kicked your fat causing ass!!!

Today I have made a decision, today I decided I am no longer doing the shop, I am going to rent a commercial kitchen on an hourly basis am going to spend money on a wicked website and run my business on the internet. I just cannot bring myself to spend the money, it is simply too much and too big a risk to take.
I love that my husband has such complete faith in me and is willing to risk everything, but I just simply do not have the same faith, not yet anyway. I am giving myself 6 months to build it up enough to justify a shop, and I have to say this decision has lifted a great weight off my shoulders so I know it is the right one!!

Still struggling, quite badly in fact!!! I am still okay however, even went through mcdonalds drive through today and resisted, though I  have to admit the temptation to lick the leftovers off my childrens face was almost intolerable!! In fact the smallest one was almost completely edible!
I scrubbed out their carseats and had to physically stop myself eating the leftover chips in the bottom of them!
I am not sure what is causing this, but I wish it would go away, I am just thankful that fruit is free points so I have something I can eat to kill the cravings.
I am constantly hungry and nothing I eat is fixing it arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!

So today I am struggling, yesturday I spent the afternoon selling cupcakes, ironically most of them were made by my competition!! I then had friends over for dinner and ended up eating too much and today I am struggling to not do it again!
On a good note I donated a cake to the auction (fundraising for chch) and it sold for $110 which is awesome, even awesomer is that it was the deputy mayor of Auckland who bought it, who then met me and thanked me in person!!
So those of you out west get your butts down to the falls restaurant, they do awesome food and are well worth a visit they put on a fantastic day yesturday.
Tomorrow is another day I will be feeling better then and food simply will not be an issue 

It has been a while!!

I am doing really well still, weight watchers rocks it is so blimmin easy!!
Today I had a colonoscan, it was fantastic, amazing, brilliant!!! Why?? Because it was not a colonoscopy!!!! You have no idea how excited I was when I discovered that, the difference you may ask??

The difference is really quite simple - one is an enormous 10foot long, six foot wide tube with a lifesize video camera on the end that is unceremoniously inserted in a place that should never ever have things inserted in it.

The other - a tiny eensy, weensy barely visible to the naked eye tube that although it goes in the same place you would not know of it's existence if they did not tell you it was there. They fill your bowel up with carbon dioxide which although uncomfortable is very tolerable, they shove you through a ct scan and all is done!

God bless that beautiful doctor that decided I needed the latter!!

I have to say the cleaning out process the day  before was not too terrible either - I was so tempted to do a weigh in this morning cause I reckon I lost at least 10 kilos during the night!!

Enough about my backside and on to the more pleasurable things in life - the other day I ate a deluxe cheeseburger and dear god it was like a little slice of heaven, how I miss those things, not having them everyday is really hard to bare, but that is my first and saviour it I did! I also drunk a woodie today, once again a first! And pretty much the same reaction as the cheeseburger, it  was so damn good, I figured I could justify one since I ate nothing at all yesturday!!!

I am super duper excited, my brother is coming to New Zealand!!! I am adopted and my birth mother and family live in Canada so this will be the first time we have met in person and I can't wait!!  I have to say I do love facebook because without it I would never have had the opportunity to get to know him and my sister, so it does have it's good points!

Weigh in tomorrow!!!!

Crap!!! Hope it goes well! I particularly like the fact that for the last three nights I have had to make up my points with vodka - god diets rock!
I don't know if I have lost weight on the scales or not, but my stomach is definitely going down, sadly I seem to be having the same issues with my boobs! I realised last night that they were definitely heading south, I thought I was doing pretty well for an almost 40 year old, they were still reasonably perky!  Turns out however that, that simply is not the case, they were still holding up okay because they were resting on top of my stomach!
So now the question is - what is more important??? Perky boobs or a flat stomach, god the decisions I sometimes have to make!

We did it!!! We joined weight watchers!!!
I am down 3.5 kilos, so that is a good start!!
I am allowed 48 points a day which is a shite load of food and I don't know if I will even be able to eat that much but I will certainly give it my best shot lol!!
If all else fails a woodie is 11 points so a couple of them and I will be all good
Gotta say the new weight watchers is fantastic, so simple to choose your food I actually looking forward to it!!