Finally I am back on track, I went off for a while there as you may have guessed and over that time I have managed to put on 2 kilos, which considering what I have eaten and drunk is pretty damn good.

I find I really have to be in "the zone" to do this, if my head is not in the right space then I simply will fail in my attempts, and of course every time I do fail, it puts me back into that bad head space again.

Today I feel good, today I am back to where I was a couple of months ago and am rearing to go. I woke this morning in this frame of mind and I recognised it straight away which is a good thing! I am starting to understand my body a bit more and I definitely go through a cycle, for about a week of every month I go through a phase of eating, all I want to do is eat, I crave food like you would not believe and dear god it is a struggle to fight it, I used to just give in and do it, but I am learning to get through it, fruit is a god send, instead of picking up chips, or biscuits or some other crap, I eat fruit, a lot of fruit admittedly but it is still better than what I used to do.

Anyway I went to my doctor today, and I have to say my doctor is such an inspiration, he used to be a massive man, he was very, very overweight, he has lost well over 100 kilos and  I did wonder if he had done it through surgery, today he told me he had done it on his own, he did weight watchers and he exercised, he said to start with walking halfway around the local park used to damn near kill him, now he runs 10kms for fun!! He said it was a constant battle he would do well then he would plateau, put weight on, get down about, and start again, it took him 3 1/2 years and he still struggles with it every day, but he did it, he got there, he told me if I lost 10 kilos then put on 5, not to worry I had still lost 5, not to worry about the gain just to focus on the loss, he was fantastic to talk to and definitely gave me a kick up the ass!

So onwards and upwards people. However I do want to point out that if I could just grow a few more feet none of this would be necessary

Wow, it has been over a month, a very, very busy month, I met my half brother which was truly awesome, he is almost as cool as me and I adore him, it was a truly wonderful experience and I am so pleased I got the opportunity to get to know him. However the alcohol consumed, the late nights and the crap food certainly did not help with the weight loss!!
Whilst he was here I also got to not only speak to my birth mother, but to see her on skype as well, which is really cool and one day this technophobe may just learn how to use skype myself!
Weight loss you say,  that is what this blog is about after all, meah we will discuss that one later!!
 The cakes are going really, really well, we have found a shop and fingers crossed this one pans out,but we shall see!
I would most like  to talk about a friend of mine, her husband died a year ago in truly tragic circumstances, and over this year I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know her, and her beautiful children! She doesn't like people telling her she is amazing as she says she is simply someone dealing with the hand the world has dealt her, but here she is wrong, very, very wrong in fact. It is not what she deals with that makes her  amazing, or how well she copes, it is quite simply who she is, she is a beautiful person with a lovely personality, a wicked sense of humour and a smile that lights up the room. And I am very grateful to be able to call her a friend!!
Anyhow, back to the weight, well it is still there, a little bit more than was there before but that is to be expected with the life I have led in the last month!! I am however trying very hard to get back on track, which is a little harder this time, I will however do it, as I quite simply do not want to be this fat person anymore