God this could take for ever, I have no space bar or n so am using the on screen keyboard and it is so slow,
I know how turtles feel!!!
Speaking of turtles, that bought back memories of my turtles, I had two they were a gift from a boyfriend they were seriously cool and we literally used to spend hours watching them and having very, deep, meaningful discussions, whilst under the influence of various substances, about the cool lives they must have!! I spent time living in thames okay!! There was nothing to do but get stoned and go to the pub!
This morning I happened to glance down only to discover my stomach no longer sticks out further than my boobs!! Truly stoked, it has been a while since that happened!!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Still haven't weighed myself, it just seems to hard!!!
Not only am I cleaning out my body, but I am cleaning out my house, the bedroom end of the house is complete, I defy you to find dirt or mess down there!! Okay so I cleaned out my wardrobe, holy shit you should have seen it, there have been no clothes in my wardrobe for the last year, because they simply could not fit, the crap was piled up to the roof and that is no exaggeration!! Now there are clothes hanging in there and two baskets on the floor and that is it, those that have seen my wardrobe will fully understand the effort that was put into cleaning it out. Charlies room also is done and yes her wardrobe too, Tristans wardrobe is full of Hayleys crap and I figure at 13 she is old enough to clean it our herself, so that is the only wardrobe still incomplete!!
I am now looking into ways to fully lock off the end of the house so the children can only go there to sleep, cause I am so not doing that again!
I am currently on the kitchen and it is starting to make some sense, at least all the fly shit is gone, god how I hate fly shit!
The problem was we moved into this house when tristan was 6 weeks old and at the time it was just too hard, so everything just got shoved wherever I could find space, this has been a long time coming.
As for the weight loss, I am still being good, am starting to really enjoy wraps for lunch and my muesli and yoghurt for breakfast.
I have discovered mammoth yoghurt, dear god that is some good food, it is full of grains and seeds and all that good stuff, you don't need to put it on muesli you just eat it as it is, it tastes divine and has the added bonus of being good for you.
I am however missing deluxe cheeseburgers, I love those things, I used to find an excuse far too regularly to pop down the road and get a couple. I am at the stage where I would almost swap one of my children for one!! In fact some days I would swap both of them for one!!!
Not only am I cleaning out my body, but I am cleaning out my house, the bedroom end of the house is complete, I defy you to find dirt or mess down there!! Okay so I cleaned out my wardrobe, holy shit you should have seen it, there have been no clothes in my wardrobe for the last year, because they simply could not fit, the crap was piled up to the roof and that is no exaggeration!! Now there are clothes hanging in there and two baskets on the floor and that is it, those that have seen my wardrobe will fully understand the effort that was put into cleaning it out. Charlies room also is done and yes her wardrobe too, Tristans wardrobe is full of Hayleys crap and I figure at 13 she is old enough to clean it our herself, so that is the only wardrobe still incomplete!!
I am now looking into ways to fully lock off the end of the house so the children can only go there to sleep, cause I am so not doing that again!
I am currently on the kitchen and it is starting to make some sense, at least all the fly shit is gone, god how I hate fly shit!
The problem was we moved into this house when tristan was 6 weeks old and at the time it was just too hard, so everything just got shoved wherever I could find space, this has been a long time coming.
As for the weight loss, I am still being good, am starting to really enjoy wraps for lunch and my muesli and yoghurt for breakfast.
I have discovered mammoth yoghurt, dear god that is some good food, it is full of grains and seeds and all that good stuff, you don't need to put it on muesli you just eat it as it is, it tastes divine and has the added bonus of being good for you.
I am however missing deluxe cheeseburgers, I love those things, I used to find an excuse far too regularly to pop down the road and get a couple. I am at the stage where I would almost swap one of my children for one!! In fact some days I would swap both of them for one!!!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Well I am going to weigh myself this week, so that will be interesting!!
I have been good but very tired this week, just completely lacking in energy, I think it may be the withdrawals from the woodies!! Though I will confess to having drunk two this week!!
I seem to have a bit of a fetish for exclamation marks at the moment, they just seem so useable and appropriate for everything, I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway I have been pretty good, still haven't joined weight watchers, why?? You ask, I could say I have been busy, the kids have been sick, all true, however not the reason I didn't go, I just could not be bothered, it just seemed too hard at the time, I will get there one day!
Now some of you may be seeing a bit of a pattern emerging here, yes I procrastinate, I procrastinate really badly, I am the kind of person that will start decorating a cake 11pm the night before it is due to be picked up. I will get it done and I will get it done well, it just seems that I am the type of person that works best under pressure, give me four days to do a cake, I will simply piss around for four days and do it at the last minute!!
So anyway I am having a rather crappy, lazy week and my motivation has completely left me, it is one of those weeks where I really want to sit down with a number of bowls of chips and dip and just eat for the sake of it, but I haven't and I won't, that person is gone, she no longer lives here, she has taken her fat ass and sashayed on out of here.
I will confess to a few slices of hell pizza last night, but that really is about where my confession ends I have been pretty good, it is a long slow road I am going down and at the moment I feel like I am on my bmx trying to ride up the steepest hill, one step forward and none back is what I am aiming for so wish me luck!!
I have been good but very tired this week, just completely lacking in energy, I think it may be the withdrawals from the woodies!! Though I will confess to having drunk two this week!!
I seem to have a bit of a fetish for exclamation marks at the moment, they just seem so useable and appropriate for everything, I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway I have been pretty good, still haven't joined weight watchers, why?? You ask, I could say I have been busy, the kids have been sick, all true, however not the reason I didn't go, I just could not be bothered, it just seemed too hard at the time, I will get there one day!
Now some of you may be seeing a bit of a pattern emerging here, yes I procrastinate, I procrastinate really badly, I am the kind of person that will start decorating a cake 11pm the night before it is due to be picked up. I will get it done and I will get it done well, it just seems that I am the type of person that works best under pressure, give me four days to do a cake, I will simply piss around for four days and do it at the last minute!!
So anyway I am having a rather crappy, lazy week and my motivation has completely left me, it is one of those weeks where I really want to sit down with a number of bowls of chips and dip and just eat for the sake of it, but I haven't and I won't, that person is gone, she no longer lives here, she has taken her fat ass and sashayed on out of here.
I will confess to a few slices of hell pizza last night, but that really is about where my confession ends I have been pretty good, it is a long slow road I am going down and at the moment I feel like I am on my bmx trying to ride up the steepest hill, one step forward and none back is what I am aiming for so wish me luck!!
Friday, February 11, 2011
I am back!!!
What a week!!! My computer died! I thought giving up woodies was going to be hard, jesus they are nothing compared to no computer!! I felt like I had lost my best friend, and a limb.
The lovely vanessa has lent me hers whilst she plays netball so I am starting to feel human again lol!
It is quite sad actually that so much of my life revolves around my computer, simple things like we don't have a phone book, we don't need one we just look people up on here, if I want info on things I google it. We went for a train ride yesturday and I couldn't even look up the number for the trains, let alone google timetables, we just turned up at the station and hoped we would get it right!!
I will admit after four days I am starting to go back to the old way of communicating, I actually ring and text my friends, hell I even went and visited some, shock horror!! When on earth did the cyber world become my social life??
Anyhow back to the subject - yes I am still fat, perhaps not as fat as I was this time last week, but still fat nonetheless, I am actually feeling quite good despite the tummy bug that has just decimated our family this week! I am really starting to enjoy eating healthily, it really isn't that hard.
After I spent a week in hospital earlier this year, I came home with a whole new attitude and a whole new lifestyle, for nearly 4 months I ate healthy and really looked after myself, somehow I let that slide, I am not sure why, I just did, but I am back, and determined to be healthy.
We are planning an overseas holiday christmas this year and at the moment I don't think my ass would actually fit in an aeroplane seat, so my first goal is to lose enough weight to fit comfortably in one! I am determined to not focus on the scales but more on my size so will not be weighing myself for a few weeks. However my sister in law has convinced me to join weight watchers with her so i guess I cannot avoid the dreaded scales there!!!
The lovely vanessa has lent me hers whilst she plays netball so I am starting to feel human again lol!
It is quite sad actually that so much of my life revolves around my computer, simple things like we don't have a phone book, we don't need one we just look people up on here, if I want info on things I google it. We went for a train ride yesturday and I couldn't even look up the number for the trains, let alone google timetables, we just turned up at the station and hoped we would get it right!!
I will admit after four days I am starting to go back to the old way of communicating, I actually ring and text my friends, hell I even went and visited some, shock horror!! When on earth did the cyber world become my social life??
Anyhow back to the subject - yes I am still fat, perhaps not as fat as I was this time last week, but still fat nonetheless, I am actually feeling quite good despite the tummy bug that has just decimated our family this week! I am really starting to enjoy eating healthily, it really isn't that hard.
After I spent a week in hospital earlier this year, I came home with a whole new attitude and a whole new lifestyle, for nearly 4 months I ate healthy and really looked after myself, somehow I let that slide, I am not sure why, I just did, but I am back, and determined to be healthy.
We are planning an overseas holiday christmas this year and at the moment I don't think my ass would actually fit in an aeroplane seat, so my first goal is to lose enough weight to fit comfortably in one! I am determined to not focus on the scales but more on my size so will not be weighing myself for a few weeks. However my sister in law has convinced me to join weight watchers with her so i guess I cannot avoid the dreaded scales there!!!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
God what a day!!! Last night I ventured out with the ever lovely nicola lee and a number of others for her hen's night! We had a beautiful meal at sawadee restaurant and numerous bottles of wine, then we hit the bars!! Okay two of them, cause we just did not have the energy to do more, it brought back fantastic memories of clubbing days, nothing quite like hot sweaty people all dancing in close proximity to each other - love it!!
We all cruised home around 1sh, it just seemed so strange to be leaving town before the sun came up! It is nice to feel like a teenager again even if my body doesn't agree with me!! I was just so glad I did not run into my teenage son, he would have been mortified to see his old mother hitting the same bars as him!!!
So I get home, starting to feel a little seedy, thought god I must have drunk more than I thought!! I went to sleep only to wake up a couple of hours later with the most god awful stomach cramps, I raced to the toilet and christened that porcelain bowl like I never have before, I won't even go there with what else happened suffice to say by the time I had finished there was nothing left in my stomach!!
The funniest thing was Chris standing at the toilet door "I'll (dry retch) clean (dry retch) it up (dry retch)" Now that is the sign of true love lol!!! Needless to say as cruel as I am to him, and as tempted as I was, I did it myself!!
So I spent the entire sunday in bed and I mean the entire day, my darling husband cleaned up, looked after my darling broken boy who also spent the day vomiting, drove Hayley to the bus, fed and watered everyone whilst I simply lay there sleeping it off!
I finally arose around 9.30pm thinking jesus I need to get some stamina!!!
We all cruised home around 1sh, it just seemed so strange to be leaving town before the sun came up! It is nice to feel like a teenager again even if my body doesn't agree with me!! I was just so glad I did not run into my teenage son, he would have been mortified to see his old mother hitting the same bars as him!!!
So I get home, starting to feel a little seedy, thought god I must have drunk more than I thought!! I went to sleep only to wake up a couple of hours later with the most god awful stomach cramps, I raced to the toilet and christened that porcelain bowl like I never have before, I won't even go there with what else happened suffice to say by the time I had finished there was nothing left in my stomach!!
The funniest thing was Chris standing at the toilet door "I'll (dry retch) clean (dry retch) it up (dry retch)" Now that is the sign of true love lol!!! Needless to say as cruel as I am to him, and as tempted as I was, I did it myself!!
So I spent the entire sunday in bed and I mean the entire day, my darling husband cleaned up, looked after my darling broken boy who also spent the day vomiting, drove Hayley to the bus, fed and watered everyone whilst I simply lay there sleeping it off!
I finally arose around 9.30pm thinking jesus I need to get some stamina!!!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Please ignore last post
For a copy of my diet, please enclose $39.95 in a stamped, self addressed envelope and I will send my revelations to you!!!
But wait there's more I will also enclose a copy of my Jim Beam diet!!
But wait there is more for only an extra $9.95 I will also put in a copy of my eat all the worms you can and still lose weight diet!!
But wait there's more I will also enclose a copy of my Jim Beam diet!!
But wait there is more for only an extra $9.95 I will also put in a copy of my eat all the worms you can and still lose weight diet!!
Diet Revelation
So i was challenged the other day to come up with a woodstock diet, so I can keep my one true love in my life permanently!
After a couple of bourbons and with the help of a number of nameless friends Tawa, Dakota, Kadin and Hayley, I also must mention Man vs Wild because without him we would not have come up with this inspirational, multi million dollar idea
What we learned courtesy of Man vs Wild, is when you are cold and wet you burn twice as many calories as normal, so bearing this in mind, here is my new diet!!
So we have 24 hours in a day to be realistic I need to sleep 8 of them,
Calories burned whilst sleeping 8 hours 84 calories = 672
To live I also have to eat, so I can now consume as much as I like of celery, cucumber, sprouts and lettuce
Calories burned 0
Now for the real work, sitting in a spa pool full of ice and water (which has the extra bonus of keeping woodies cold)
4 hours @168 calories = 672
Using an exercycle whist sitting in said spa pool for 1 hour at the beginning and one hour at the end
2 hours - 864 calories
The rest of the time I will be sitting, perhaps reading, perhaps watching tv but nothing more energetic than that
10 hours @84 calories = 840
So in total I will be burning 3048 calories per day
Each woodie contains 220 calories,
To maintain weight you must drink no more than 13.9 woodies per day
To lose weight, cut down to 10!!!
.
After a couple of bourbons and with the help of a number of nameless friends Tawa, Dakota, Kadin and Hayley, I also must mention Man vs Wild because without him we would not have come up with this inspirational, multi million dollar idea
What we learned courtesy of Man vs Wild, is when you are cold and wet you burn twice as many calories as normal, so bearing this in mind, here is my new diet!!
So we have 24 hours in a day to be realistic I need to sleep 8 of them,
Calories burned whilst sleeping 8 hours 84 calories = 672
To live I also have to eat, so I can now consume as much as I like of celery, cucumber, sprouts and lettuce
Calories burned 0
Now for the real work, sitting in a spa pool full of ice and water (which has the extra bonus of keeping woodies cold)
4 hours @168 calories = 672
Using an exercycle whist sitting in said spa pool for 1 hour at the beginning and one hour at the end
2 hours - 864 calories
The rest of the time I will be sitting, perhaps reading, perhaps watching tv but nothing more energetic than that
10 hours @84 calories = 840
So in total I will be burning 3048 calories per day
Each woodie contains 220 calories,
To maintain weight you must drink no more than 13.9 woodies per day
To lose weight, cut down to 10!!!
.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Day one!!
So I went today, I got weighed, turns out it is official I AM FAT, Really fuckin fat in fact, Jesus christ!!! I swear that bugger had his foot on the back of my scales!!
So I am going to disappoint my wee low carb man a little as I am not going to not eat carbs, it is just not something I can stick to forever and I need to stick to this, it just can't be that hard or I simply will not sustain it, I just like carbs! So I am going to allow myself a wrap for lunch, that is all, no other carbs!!
Our house is going to be a nightmare for the next few weeks, not only am I giving up the thing I love most in the world, food!! My darling, sweet, lovely, even tempered husband is giving up his love, cigarettes!! He has been cutting down for the last month and yesturday attempted to go all day without a cigarette, weeeelllll, without cigarettes, jesus he is a bastard! I got yelled at for putting the roast in the wrong dish, buying the wrong type of kumara, the wrong type of pumpkin and the wrong type of potato. I figure if I have the will power to not punch him in the face, I have the will power to stick to this diet!!
So after he had succumbed to a cigarette and I had skulled two bottles of wine, peace was once again restored to our home. Can I just suggest to those of you that tend to just drop in and say hi, DON'T!! Just stay the hell away or you may become embroiled in one of our many pathetic, pointless arguments, and trust me they are many!!
So I am going to disappoint my wee low carb man a little as I am not going to not eat carbs, it is just not something I can stick to forever and I need to stick to this, it just can't be that hard or I simply will not sustain it, I just like carbs! So I am going to allow myself a wrap for lunch, that is all, no other carbs!!
Our house is going to be a nightmare for the next few weeks, not only am I giving up the thing I love most in the world, food!! My darling, sweet, lovely, even tempered husband is giving up his love, cigarettes!! He has been cutting down for the last month and yesturday attempted to go all day without a cigarette, weeeelllll, without cigarettes, jesus he is a bastard! I got yelled at for putting the roast in the wrong dish, buying the wrong type of kumara, the wrong type of pumpkin and the wrong type of potato. I figure if I have the will power to not punch him in the face, I have the will power to stick to this diet!!
So after he had succumbed to a cigarette and I had skulled two bottles of wine, peace was once again restored to our home. Can I just suggest to those of you that tend to just drop in and say hi, DON'T!! Just stay the hell away or you may become embroiled in one of our many pathetic, pointless arguments, and trust me they are many!!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Weeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllll
Dum, dum, de, dum, dum, dum!! **Whistles**
**Looks up, looks down, looks at woody and chooses not to post today**
**Looks up, looks down, looks at woody and chooses not to post today**
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